Saturday, October 26, 2013

A Peek Inside.....Me

My name is Katie Hendricks McCranie....
I have been called the “Female Version of Denis Leary/George Carlin” due to my lack of having a verbal guardrail…I dislike raw tomatoes...okra....eggplant...sweet potatoes...Lamb...I refuse to eat cheese….Dislike unshaven armpits...scaly feet....old feet...poorly behaved, shitty kids and their horrible parents...I hate fake smile and fake "Hey, how are you?"'s.
I dislike people who violate my personal invisible bubble...with their plastic ways and their breath so bad they could strip paint off the walls...I dislike arrogant self-righteous religious zealots who try and spoon feed me what they have been eating since birth...
I believe in being a good and wife. I will gut you with a crochet hook if you try and hurt my family….If you hurt my children, your body will never be found… 

I do not understand some people's thinking. I do not understand how some people can just believe in something JUST because their parents, family, or friends told them that they should.

First, there are some things about me you should probably take into consideration.

From the very first moment I can remember, my parents have always been deeply in love. I love the love my parents share for one another…they have never had a single fight in their 44+ years of marriage…and they’ll testify to that.

My dad was in the Army for 20 years...and he did some pretty cool things; the kind you only see in movies.... After his retirement in 1990, he became the 911 coordinator for Pickens County, SC. He is the reason we have 911 here. He then went on to filling the role of County Administrator. My mom was an English/French teacher for 35 years until she retired.

I love the smell of Autumn and wet leaves…I love the first frost on Winter…leaving your comfortable 70° home in the morning to feel the icy chill paint your face with bitter cold air…I love brie cheese and a crusty sour dough roll…cold butter on hot bread…I love going to a restaurant that understands why you prefer your salad on a cold plate and not a plate that’s piping hot from the dishwasher. I love the freedom I feel by not being bound to some silly social norm…
Normality is not definable… I love my tattoos that tell my intimate stories and have meaning…I hate people who get un-original tattoos…pick them out of the standard flash they see….or get a tattoo because they saw it on someone else…I am glad I don’t feel smothered like most people do as they worry and fret over “what will the neighbors think…I mow the grass on Sundays…smells that remind me of my childhood.. The smells of gasoline, cut grass and horse shit... (You wouldn’t understand this if you didn’t grow up in Europe…as I did).
I have an older sister whose actions while a teenager changed my life forever. (That is another story...)

That's me...looking at YOU!
Our House~~Huyn van Rodenbroeckstraat, 6413 Heerlen, Limburg, The Netherlands
I grew up attending a NATO air force base American school in Geilenkirchen Germany. While attending school there, I learned German. Thanks Frau Frankenberg. We lived in Heerlen, Netherlands, a 40-minute drive to Geilenkirchen for school. While I played with the neighborhood kids, I learned to speak Dutch. My first word, taught by a boy who would bite the top of his hand when he got mad, was "kijk" (cake-uh)...Means "look!" NOTHING was censored when we lived there. When family members came over from Six Mile, SC…they found Naked Ballet very interesting! There was a late-night movie review show called, "The Fuck Off Show", where the host would either say "fuck yeah!" or "Fuck OFF" to movies he had seen. On Dutch TV, the only English speaking shows were seen 6 months later than shown in the United States. When JR. Ewing was shot...we didn't know about it for 6 WHOLE MONTHS!! Falcon Crest, Airwolf, Knight Rider and The Dukes of Hazard were the only shows. When I watched Dutch TV, they always had subtitles in English on. That was another way I learned to speak Dutch. 

We moved to South Carolina in 1986, I started the 5th grade at Liberty Middle School. Attending school in America was quite a change. Things were NOT talked about, as they should be. I remember I wrote a poem about a dead dog, and was quickly counseled on how it was not appropriate. Really?? Discussing the loss of a pet is "not appropriate"?? WHOA!!.... I remember a classmate of mine; I will use her first name only, Jennifer, came up to me and said, "My parents are getting a 'divorce'!" My response and the shape of her face is something I will never forget; "What kind of car is that?"....Yeah, I had NO CLUE what divorce was, BUT I watched the "Fuck Off Show"!! Neat, huh? I felt like my 5th grade year was sort of like an interview that lasted 180 days.
I remember being made fun of because I did not attend church...I remember being made fun of because I had an accent...and it was not southern AT ALL. I received 26 paddling’s from Mrs. Clamp during my 5th grade year...not for fighting or anything like that. Administration said that I needed to “learn what was appropriate and what was not”. Nice, huh? I am 38 you think those paddling helped? ;)
 I also learned how friendships would follow you the rest of your life. EXAMPLE: Overseas, I had a multicultural-mixed-bag of friends...all colors and shapes... As kids, we never called each other racial never occurred to us that this should even be an issue. When I came here, one of my very first friends was Daryl and his cousin, Naomi. Thomas soon followed. I remember being called names by my other classmates because I was friends with them, that I didn't understand..."Nigger-Lover" and "Fag-Protector" were a few. I actually had to ask my parents about the "N" word...Never knew about it until then.

Ok, let’s move on.....this all boils down, I guess, to some of the Facebook posts I read. Take into consideration that I have never judged anyone for anything that they believe is true...I have only questioned it. I have a scientific brain....I think I am smart, never knew I was smart...until I had my daughters. 

I am a learning junkie ...I have been attending college since 1995...I am currently studying Criminal Justice and love the law... I also run 2 blogs...this one and one about my grandpa's journey through the southern textile industry...You can see it here...Linthead Tales ~ A Forgotten Era

When I was pregnant with my first daughter, Barrett, I thought long and hard about what kind of an adult I would like her to be. The thing that stuck in my brain was; AN INDIVIDUAL. Happy, respectful, kind, sweet and just an all-round good person. That's not asking TOO much it?
My family's background is Jewish. We were never pressured into this...never asked to "practice" it...Just respect it. Since my children had both Jewish and Baptist backgrounds, I wanted them to be old enough to make a choice, if any, when they were older and could understand BOTH sides...or ALL sides...or none at all. I never PUSHED anything, other than respect for other humans and animals alike. I see how religion, throughout history, has been used as a weapon.
My parents have always given me a choice as to how I wanted to live my life. Yes, along the way, instead of taking their advice, I have often failed when I did the opposite of what they had "suggested". Ya live and learn, right? Therefore, when I see the posts like "We saved 234645480978473 souls tonight." Something inside me pisses me off...Why is that? Is it because I think unless they were feeding the hungry, they haven't saved shit? Or, "We got 34 people to follow us..." WTF....I SCREAM INSIDE!! I don't believe it.....there is something there that isn't kosher....its askew...something it OFF.
Why do people find a need to run around and tell people that unless they follow them like sheep, they will burn in hell? Why do they find it a daily ritual to "pray" for people who are homosexuals? FUCK OFF...they (homosexuals) aren't hurting you!! Homosexuals aren't here to "convert" your children...your even the family pet! They are here to live...that's it!! **Wipes her brow**....knowing this...does it change things for ya?? 

Brainwashed too much? If my daughters, either one of them, came to me and told me that they are homosexual...should I turn my back? long as they aren't hurting anyone else...LIVE my daughters, LIVE! The religious ones...think about how you would react if it were YOUR child.... would you judge?? Turn your back?? Or love them just the same? I would opt for "love them just the same". If they came to me tomorrow and wanted to worship Q-Tips...ok. If they wanted to discard everything people have "believed in" and find their own way...ok.

I dislike shaking hands due to my OCD. I look funny naked and have a deeper voice than most females….My daughters have inherited this trait thanks to DNA…. I find it comical that the most vicious mouthed people in school are now SUPER JESUS-ee…They speak about how gay people shouldn’t get married but are too blind to see that their own child is unable to tell them that they’re gay…almost bursting at their seams in fear of how their parents would react..I dislike it that people don’t comment on a status that they hate….for fear of a healthy debate… I love it when people comment with wishy-washy opinions instead of just saying the 1st thing your sheepish mind said to you ...I love being friends with people for years and have never met them…I look weird naked...I love my husband because he doesn’t give a shit about that….the fact that he looks great naked trumps that! 

I dislike family gatherings because I know that it’s all an act…My Aunt Nan ( my dad’s sister) is the matriarch of our entire family…she is the glue that holds us all together….when she dies…we will all scatter in the winds of life…and go months or years without seeing one another… I say a lot of things that offend people or rub them the wrong way….little do they know how twisted my words were before I censored them
…I hate that society has become technology whores….while my 12 year old has never been taught cursive writing…I dislike cutesy wootsy glittery cookie cutter shared shit on Facebook…you think they contain an epic quote that should change my life but instead makes me wish I could take away your ability to copy and paste shit like that…I love it when people call me “angry”…when all they’re doing in showing me they really don’t know me at all…I am torn on immigration because we were once immigrants too…Some of your ancestors butchered the natural inhabitants of a country you claim is YOURS…
Mine came from Germany, Holland, and the Isle of Skye…trying to escape the butchers who invaded their lands….Some of you look like human jerky because you tan too much and you don’t see the aging I see on your skin….I hate pushy car salesmen , snotty clerks in the perfume section of department stores at the mall..I hate shopping….I haven’t been to a mall in 11 years… I am quiet when you first meet me and I laugh at inappropriate things...I am laid back and I don't raise my voice....I drive like I am in a race that only I know about and I have never had a speeding ticket...I love drivers that ride my bumper…Little do they know that I they are just there for my entertainment…just as some of you are….. ;)

For the past 23 years, I have been a "chaser"....I can find anyone that tries to hide...I am a Repo-Chick and I hunt humans for fun and sport....If you need me to find out information...I would be the person you'd call....

I could go on for days on this...but I won't. I will lay my head upon my pillow and sleep like a bear, knowing that I have given my children OPTIONS in their lives. I love them very much, enough to allow them to grow, learn and think for themselves. Just remember, be yourself...whatever that may be. =) I hope this lets you have a better view of who I am or who you thought I was....