Wednesday, September 29, 2010

WTF.....He Blew His F**KING HEAD OFF!!

OK, for those of you who aren't "use to" how I think...speak...Here's your chance. This involves a news story I had vaguely been following. I say "vaguely" because I only read the story thinking it would be someone I may or may not know. Hell, I even thought it could have been one of my clients....Believe it or not...suicide happens more than reported. If this individual had committed suicide indoors...in his usual surroundings, I doubt very seriously if maybe 3 sentences would have ever been written about it.
 That is obviously NOT THE case....According to news reports, Mr.Hill decided to commit suicide in some woods not far from his "turf". The coroner released his findings upon the conclusion of his autopsy. Me finding autopsy's interesting is a whole different story...maybe next time kids!

OK...So, coroner states Mr.Hill decided things would be better if he were to vacate his body...the manner of which has not yet been released...But I will place my bets on either 1) Pills or 2) HE BLEW HIS FUCKING HEAD OFF!!

So, one might wonder how I came to only those two choices. Well, after reading his ENTIRE facebook profile...he eluded to a certain...."lifestyle"...I honestly believe that a kid of only 22...who attended college...has only stuck his PINKY TOE in what he thought was some suave...gang like atmosphere. I get it...

We all have that certain voice in the back of our brain that always whispered..."Try and fit in"...or "Maybe they'll like me if I change who I am"....Fuck that. Either way, I never was the one to do that. In all of my 35 years on this planet, if you have met me and gotten to know me, you either like me or you don't. I assure you, I will not nor have I EVER lost any sleep, worrying about my "LIKE FACTOR"....Sad when some people go through their whole life never having lived a single day as themselves. When you get to the end of the road named "Life"...How will you reflect upon it?? Will there be a moment..as you lay dying...when you say to yourself..."I should have lived more..different...been myself..."????

After reading this news story, I decided to plug his name into facebook...The first one I came to was obviously some sort of tribute page. I get that too! Its nice for people to have an outlet...to express whatever thoughts, feelings, memories, grief or EVEN....Anger...rage...WTF'S. The second page I came to was Mr.Hill's personal page....OK He was in college...facebooked alot of "friends"...well over 1200 people were his "friends". As I am reading his posts....the oldest one I came to stated Mr.Hill is now "in a relationship"...YAY...someone else besides your mother, likes you!! YAY!!

The  next couple of months, he adds friends, downloads facebook for Android, comments on some pictures...connects with family...the usual. Then Mr.Hill changed his relationship status from "in a relationship" to "Single"...One of his friends equated his change with a blurb..."On to the next on cuz..."...
He then posts that he was back attending college and somethings didn't work out his way...I will post a snip... 

After he posted this...Where was the concern from his 1200 facebook friends and family?? Why weren't questions asked...help offered?? Either way, he seemed, to move on and keep going...As we ALL do.

OK, time goes on and he is turning 22...YAY a birthday!! Remember how exciting it was to get to the next number on the "birthday ladder"?? Lemme post...his post...I will translate after..

 
  He, according to Urban dictionary, had been smoking weed all day like it was vitamin C...Um..I thought Fruit Loops or Capt Crunch were fab ways too. He then goes on to tell his age..."Deuce deuce"...22...and then he says he is in for whatever fun may be out there...OK...Other than the herbal breakfast, it seems his phone is either without mins or has a dead battery...and hes bored. At 22...I didn't think "bored" was in my vocabulary...Nope...STILL not there!Did anyone of his 1200 friends offer to take him out...celebrate his 22 b-day?? Nope...NOT A SINGLE "friend" offered....

However, his next post, the following day,  he begins to thank whoever had wished him birthday wishes....Nice...it's the nice thing to do. He also states that he is still trying to recover from the previous nights celebrations...Yay! Here's his post
 Time goes on and so does he....or so we assumed...The story breaks..."Body Found in woods near road....."  I went to bed...got up the next day (reluctantly) and went to work. Riding around in my car, I listen to 106.3 WORD....news/talk/traffic....That way I can know whats going on around me while I am away from my computer in my office....The news comes on and they say that the coroner's report, on the body they had found, has been ruled a "suicide".....My instant thought to anyone who commits suicide...COWARD!! Yeah, I did say that....I think its a cheap way to go...Sad that no one noticed him...his moods...patterns...routines...Ya know??

Now, I am NOT saying that, people who commit suicide automatically flash a blinking neon sign saying, "I NEED HELP"....."I have problems.."....My world is shit, so..fuck it...I am OUT!!" I am not saying that at all.... I have told people that if they ever found my dead body with a suicide note...I DIDN'T FUCKING DO IT!! I don't have the balls...the want...the mental make-up to do that. I, personally speaking, think that you have to have absolute courage and at the same time, PRIDE to do that!! Suicide, is a way of  showing of how sad it is when people think they cannot...will not...should not...shed their shitty pride, in order to open their mouths and tell someone...ANYONE...that you need something...anything.

In 2007, there were approx. 35,000 reported suicides nationwide...Florida made the top of the list...SC ranked 25th with 530 REPORTED suicides....27,000 males...the rest..females..
•A person dies by suicide about every 15 minutes in the United States.


•Every day, approximately 90 Americans take their own life. Sited http://www.afsp.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=home.viewPage&page_id=050FEA9F-B064-4092-B1135C3A70DE1FDA 
 
Moving on, lets go back to his "tribute page"....Vent people...VENT!!


 Besides this persons retarded spelling...horrible slang terms...I would have hoped that if someone wanted to leave a tribute to my family about me, COULD YOU PLEASE SPELL CORRECTLY??? I wouldn't want my extended family to have to re-read or translate this shit at a later date. I would also like to think, that the people I have put in my circle, would want to show my friends and family, that I did have some sort of DNA composed lumps, that were smart enough to communicate effectively. I know what you're thinking..."Katie, you litter your sentences with "........" Yep.......I sure do!! If your mother was an English teacher, for 30 years, who seemed to carry a red pen, in a hidden holster,.......you would use "......." too!
Moving on......No one thought to check on him...the people around him...Did they NOT know?? Signs?? Did he have any enemies?? Anyone recall him doing anything different? And I have heard "religious" people say this before too...""G" doesn't make any mistakes"...and .."It was his plan..".... Humph....another one....
OK.....This person...in this post, didn't specify as to whose "betta hands" Mr.Hill is in?? Can I have that guys e-mail..so I can go ahead and tell him....DO NOT FUCKING TOUCH ME!! Seriously...I don't get it...You really believe that the way this kids life went....it was all some sort of conspiracy...."HIS plan"??? Again...call that "HIS"-guy, and tell him DO NOT MAKE PLANS FOR ME...No thanks...I am going my own route...um..RAIN CHECK!! I just don't see or understand why statements ...and there were alot of them, that can swallow that pill...
Whenever I see a child suffering with cancer..or hear about a baby being beaten to death...should I just say..."Well, the Big-Guy-in-The-Sky said it was his "will"...his plan...so...I should just STFU and LIKE IT!!????"""" Are you fucking serious?? WOW...I REJECT that....I won't be made to drive by the Children's Cancer ward...and scream..."Remember kids...and parents....BE HAPPY...Its all "Big-Guys" fault!! Rest easy now...." and drive away, with a stupid, shitfaced grin on my face, believing that all is right in the world because someone read a book that had been edited and reedited...and what they read on that book...THEY  SWALLOWED every single word??? FUCK THAT!!

Growing up....I read alot of books...edited and reedited one...Stephen King was my fave...So, why would I be frowned upon if I chose to worship a character out of one of THOSE books??????? Why? WHY??...I believe in Santa...He ate my cookies I left him when I was 5....The Easter Bunny....He lives in Norris, SC...Yep...Cause I read it in a BOOK!

Back to Mr.Hill.... I continued reading all the posts from his 1200+ friends and I came across this SHIT FACE!! I wanted to call her and say..."Really??" Here is what her post was...

Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME?? I was minding my own business...working...I don't recall knowing about some sort of conspiracy....SHIT....Did I forget to check my e-mail...Crap!! The first day I forget to check it...and I missed being part of a conspiracy!! I swear, I will NEVER forget to check it again....**checks her Yahoo**....**frowns*

WTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTF!!!!!!!!!!! Instantly, I LOATHE her...I want to find what kind of car she drives and smack some REALITY into her FAT HEAD!! Her lack of using English in her...typing makes me SICK!! I had to google half of her smegma infested typing.....LEARN HOW TO COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVELY!!!!!!!!

Then she goes and vomits some more...."864"..I get it...an area code...Hold on a fucking minute...That's MY area code...."Where the white folks don't give a damn about us..."
1st....Who is "us"??? Have I ever met "us"??? Yes, I am white....but...Why the hell should I give a damn about "us".....?? I get what you're saying, Chicky...That somehow if I gave you a fucking Hallmark card...that your cesspool of a life would somehow have meaning?? What does me being white have ANYTHING to do with your life?? You are where you are in life...NOT because of ME...But because of your own CHOICES...If you don't like where you are...FUCKING CHANGE it!! Sitting around, blaming me....That really works to make YOU better doesn't it??

 I must say...You are right though....I really could give a shit-less about you.....You DON'T live with me.....You DON'T contribute to anything I associate myself with...YAY!! With an attitude like that, I am sure ,that the success in your life, will be triple that of my success.....In about 5 years....can you give me an update as to the changes you made in your life...to improve it?? I would appreciate that I know how me NOT caring...has really FUCKED UP YOUR LIFE!!