Ya know what I find sad? And before I get started… The
answer to your question….Yes, I know I should never assume where I stand with
people.
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| Wow...just....wow.... |
Sadness to me is when you think you have a close/best-friend
and you realize, via Facebook, that you really are of no consequence to that
person.
Things I would have done for that person….gone. Sacrifices I
would have made…gone. Telling them things you would’ve never uttered…..nevermore.
Random phone calls….nope. Just all of the normal things any of you would do for
your close/best-friend…down the drain. The saved up hugs...(because I don’t hug
just anyone..)…GONE!
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| No Looking Back At Once Was.... |
Close/best-friends, especially one’s you’ve held onto for
numerous years are very rare and seldom happen in a lifetime….It’s as if you
have to mourn that person, in some fashion, to be “OK” with knowing you’ve
been discounted.
The proverbial walls that you had bulldozed down for them,
seem to be in desperate need of repair…
Makes me wonder if I REALLY know, just where I stand with
anyone I feel close to…
I am hard to get close to…I am hard to understand sometimes…I
am hard to get to know when you first meet me in person….
For example, if I were to meet someone for the first time, I
am very quiet…reserved….polite… (My mother raised me right…LOL)...watching the room and the other people who occupy the same space...
I think...no, I KNOW that I am like this because it is a defense mechanism for me. If I protect myself from the get-go, then I am more likely to be OK, later on.
I am "feeling", YOU, the new acquaintance out... I am watching your posturing, eye movement/eye contact, body language, speech patterns.... and I am watching the other people in the room too....ALL at once. Must be a benefit to having ADHD...
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No problem here....just checking you out...
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The death of closeness is not a permanent state of emotional mourning. For me, it usually lasts between 12-24 hours...and then I am done. Nothing but idle chit-chat and polite smiles from then on out...AND knowing that I have lost a confidant...the ear I needed to bend....the person I could vent to....the unjudging comments and advice giving will not occur from this point forward....
Have you ever experienced this? Do you understand how this feels? Are you guilty of doing this??
