Tuesday, April 19, 2011

WHO!!??

So, while on my voyage to Clemson, I had to stop at a traffic light. While sitting there listening to the news and weather reports, a dude in a Suburban pulled up beside me….

Since today was so nice, I had my windows down. The warm afternoon slowly changing over to a cool, crisp evening…I took a deep breath. Then as my ADD loosens its hold on my attention, I realize that I no longer hear the twittering of birds or the sounds of the refreshing air whishing through my hair….. Like a rubber ball connected to a wooden paddle, I was suddenly snapped back into reality. The wheels in my brain come to a full STOP…..Ok, I can hear it now. I heard a low thud…..then another…coming closer….now I realize that these sounds were in a pattern…repeating….becoming louder….
The thuds have now graduated to a loud BOOM-buzzzz….again repeating…OVER and OVER and OVER…and OVER………. I check my mirror and I see what’s approaching…a dark green Chevrolet Suburban…The ADD in me suddenly screams….”SHINY!!”. From an almost inaudible “thud” getting closer….it has now been transformed into a full on RAP CONCERT beside me. “Fucktard,” I think to myself


I glance over at “Dr. Dickface” to make sure he knows my opinion about his rap concert invading my personal space…. Thinking about which stereo component I would love to shove up his ass….my eardrums were assaulted….’fuck….bitches…..mutha-fucka…club…nnnn shit…..(~*~*~*~insert retarded non-rhyming sentence here…preferably containing one, if not all, of the words in my previous sentence~*~*~*~) nnnnn swagger…’ blah blah blah blah .


The light turns green…..we are neck-and-neck all the way to the next red-light…SHIT!! The light just turned red….GREAT! Another retarded-mobile-rap-concert…… (*^$(#Q^ (Q#^ (Q^$(^#$(^#%Q$%$^$#^@$37q5!!
I “toot” my horn….I glance over….he turns down his music….he glances back…offers me a “I work as a Master Drive-Thru Technician….@ Burger King”…..UGH…He’s a FUCKTARD….


K- Hey!
Dr.-**nods**
K- ******YELLS***** You should play some Beethoven…….!!
…..His eyes glaze over…… (Internal giggle)….nope…no response yet… I wait…. any sign of brain activity…edge of my seat…..AARRRHHHGGGGGG!!! Then….as if he had returned from an out-of-body moment……He musters up a response….wait for it….wait for it….


“WHO!!??”




K- My point EXACTLY!!! You have just proven to me, that you aren’t any smarter, than the fuck-nugget on your cd……….YOU ARE GONNA GO FAR IN LIFE………Dickhead! TURN THAT RAP-SHIT OFF!!....and I took the liberty of writing down your tag number so I can file a “Noise Ordinance Complaint”……Ok……Bye now!!

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