Sunday, August 15, 2010

Maybe its because I was not raised here?

I do not understand some people's thinking. I do not understand how some people can just believe in something JUST because their parents, family, or friends told them that they should.

First, there are some things about me you should probably take into consideration.

From the very first moment I can remember, my parents have always been deeply in love.

My dad was in the Army for 20 years. After his retirement in 1990, he became the 911 coordinator for Pickens County, SC. He is the reason we have 911 here. He then went on to filling the role of County Administrator. Soon after winning a lawsuit against the county, he went on to becoming Oconee County Administrator...due to a series of lies...he retired abruptly. (That is another story...) My mom was a teacher at RC Edwards Junior High and then went on to DW Daniel High until she retired.

I have an older sister whose actions while a teenager changed my life forever. (That is another story...)

I grew up attending a NATO air force base American school in Geilenkirchen Germany. While attending school there, I learned German. Thanks Frau Frankenberg. We lived in Heerlen, Netherlands, a 40-minute drive to Geilenkirchen for school. While I played with the neighborhood kids, I learned to speak Dutch. My first word, taught by a boy who would bite the top of his hand when he got mad, was "kijk" (cake-uh)...Means "look!" NOTHING was censored when we lived there. When family members came over from Six Mile, SC…they found Naked Ballet very interesting! There was a late-night movie review show called, "The Fuck Off Show", where the host would either say "fuck yeah!" or "Fuck OFF" to movies he had seen. On Dutch TV, the only English speaking shows were seen 6 months later than shown in the United States. When JR. Ewing was shot...we didn't know about it for 6 WHOLE MONTHS!! Falcon Crest, Airwolf, Knight Rider and The Dukes of Hazard were the only shows. When I watched Dutch TV, they always had subtitles in English on. That was another way I learned to speak Dutch. We moved to South Carolina in 1986, I started the 5th grade at Liberty Middle School.

Attending school in America was quite a change. Things were NOT talked about, as they should be. I remember I wrote a poem about a dead dog, and was quickly counseled on how it was not appropriate. Really?? Discussing the loss of a pet is "not appropriate"?? WHOA!!.... 

I remember a classmate of mine; I will use her first name only, Jennifer, came up to me and said, "My parents are getting a 'divorce'!" My response and the shape of her face is something I will never forget; "What kind of car is that?"....Yeah, I had NO CLUE what divorce was, BUT I watched the "Fuck Off Show"!! Neat, huh? I felt like my 5th grade year was sort of like an interview that lasted 180 days. I remember being made fun of because I did not attend church...I remember being made fun of because I had an accent...and it was not southern AT ALL. I received 26 paddling’s from Mrs. Clamp during my 5th grade year...not for fighting or anything like that. Administration said that I needed to learn what was appropriate and what was not. Nice, huh? I am 35 you think those paddling helped? ;) I also learned how friendships would follow you the rest of your life. EXAMPLE: Overseas, I had a multicultural-mixed-bag of friends...all colors and shapes... As kids, we never called each other racial never occurred to us that this should even be an issue. When I came here, one of my very first friends was Daryl and his cousin, Naomi. Thomas soon followed. I remember being called names by my other classmates because I was friends with them, that I didn't understand..."Nigger-Lover" and "Fag-Protector" were a few. I actually had to ask my parents about the "N" word...Never knew about it until then.

Ok, let’s move on.....this all boils down, I guess, to some of the Facebook posts I read. Take into consideration that I have never judged anyone for anything that they believe is true...I have only questioned it. I have a scientific brain....I think I am smart, never knew I was smart...until I had my daughters.

When I was pregnant with my first daughter, Barrett, I thought long and hard about what kind of adults I would like her to be. The thing that stuck in my brain was; AN INDIVIDUAL. Happy, respectful, kind, sweet and just an all-round good person. That's not asking TOO much it?

My family's background is Jewish. We were never pressured into this...never asked to "practice" it...Just respect it. Since my children had both Jewish and Baptist backgrounds, I wanted them to be old enough to make a choice, if any, when they were older and could understand BOTH sides...or ALL sides...or none at all. I never PUSHED anything, other than respect for other humans and animals alike. I see how religion, throughout history, has been used as a weapon. My parents have always given me a choice as to how I wanted to live my life. Yes, along the way, instead of taking their advice, I have often failed when I did the opposite of what they had "suggested". Ya live and learn, right? Therefore, when I see the posts like "We saved 234645480978473 souls tonight." Something inside me pisses me off...Why is that? Is it because I think unless they were feeding the hungry, they haven't saved shit? Or, "We got 34 people to follow us..." WTF....I SCREAM INSIDE!! 

I don't believe it.....there is something there that isn't kosher....its askew...something it OFF. Why do people find a need to run around and tell people that unless they follow them like sheep, they will burn in hell? Why do they find it a daily ritual to "pray" for people who are homosexuals? FUCK OFF...they (homosexuals) aren't hurting you!! Homosexuals aren't here to "convert" your children...your even the family pet! They are here to live...that's it!! **Wipes her brow**....knowing this...does it change things for ya?? Brainwashed too much? If my daughters, either one of them, came to me and told me that they are homosexual...should I turn my back? long as they aren't hurting anyone else...LIVE my daughters, LIVE!

 The religious ones...think about how you would react if it were YOUR child.... would you judge?? Turn your back?? Or love them just the same? I would opt for "love them just the same". If they came to me tomorrow and wanted to worship Q-Tips...ok. If they wanted to discard everything people have "believed in" and find their own way...ok.

I could go on for days on this...but I won't. I will lay my head upon my pillow and sleep like a bear, knowing that I have given my children OPTIONS in their lives. I love them very much, enough to allow them to grow, learn and think for themselves. Just remember, be yourself...whatever that may be. =)