WTF.....He Blew His F**KING HEAD OFF!!

OK, for those of you who aren't "use to" how I think...speak...Here's your chance. This involves a news story I had vaguely been following. I say "vaguely" because I only read the story thinking it would be someone I may or may not know. Hell, I even thought it could have been one of my clients....Believe it or not...suicide happens more than reported. If this individual had committed suicide indoors...in his usual surroundings, I doubt very seriously if maybe 3 sentences would have ever been written about it.
 That is obviously NOT THE case....According to news reports, Mr.Hill decided to commit suicide in some woods not far from his "turf". The coroner released his findings upon the conclusion of his autopsy. Me finding autopsy's interesting is a whole different story...maybe next time kids!

OK...So, coroner states Mr.Hill decided things would be better if he were to vacate his body...the manner of which has not yet been released...But I will place my bets on either 1) Pills or 2) HE BLEW HIS FUCKING HEAD OFF!!

So, one might wonder how I came to only those two choices. Well, after reading his ENTIRE facebook profile...he eluded to a certain...."lifestyle"...I honestly believe that a kid of only 22...who attended college...has only stuck his PINKY TOE in what he thought was some suave...gang like atmosphere. I get it...

We all have that certain voice in the back of our brain that always whispered..."Try and fit in"...or "Maybe they'll like me if I change who I am"....Fuck that. Either way, I never was the one to do that. In all of my 35 years on this planet, if you have met me and gotten to know me, you either like me or you don't. I assure you, I will not nor have I EVER lost any sleep, worrying about my "LIKE FACTOR"....Sad when some people go through their whole life never having lived a single day as themselves. When you get to the end of the road named "Life"...How will you reflect upon it?? Will there be a moment..as you lay dying...when you say to yourself..."I should have lived more..different...been myself..."????

After reading this news story, I decided to plug his name into facebook...The first one I came to was obviously some sort of tribute page. I get that too! Its nice for people to have an outlet...to express whatever thoughts, feelings, memories, grief or EVEN....Anger...rage...WTF'S. The second page I came to was Mr.Hill's personal page....OK He was in college...facebooked alot of "friends"...well over 1200 people were his "friends". As I am reading his posts....the oldest one I came to stated Mr.Hill is now "in a relationship"...YAY...someone else besides your mother, likes you!! YAY!!

The  next couple of months, he adds friends, downloads facebook for Android, comments on some pictures...connects with family...the usual. Then Mr.Hill changed his relationship status from "in a relationship" to "Single"...One of his friends equated his change with a blurb..."On to the next on cuz..."...
He then posts that he was back attending college and somethings didn't work out his way...I will post a snip... 

After he posted this...Where was the concern from his 1200 facebook friends and family?? Why weren't questions asked...help offered?? Either way, he seemed, to move on and keep going...As we ALL do.

OK, time goes on and he is turning 22...YAY a birthday!! Remember how exciting it was to get to the next number on the "birthday ladder"?? Lemme post...his post...I will translate after..

 
  He, according to Urban dictionary, had been smoking weed all day like it was vitamin C...Um..I thought Fruit Loops or Capt Crunch were fab ways too. He then goes on to tell his age..."Deuce deuce"...22...and then he says he is in for whatever fun may be out there...OK...Other than the herbal breakfast, it seems his phone is either without mins or has a dead battery...and hes bored. At 22...I didn't think "bored" was in my vocabulary...Nope...STILL not there!Did anyone of his 1200 friends offer to take him out...celebrate his 22 b-day?? Nope...NOT A SINGLE "friend" offered....

However, his next post, the following day,  he begins to thank whoever had wished him birthday wishes....Nice...it's the nice thing to do. He also states that he is still trying to recover from the previous nights celebrations...Yay! Here's his post

 Time goes on and so does he....or so we assumed...The story breaks..."Body Found in woods near road....."  I went to bed...got up the next day (reluctantly) and went to work. Riding around in my car, I listen to 106.3 WORD....news/talk/traffic....That way I can know whats going on around me while I am away from my computer in my office....The news comes on and they say that the coroner's report, on the body they had found, has been ruled a "suicide".....My instant thought to anyone who commits suicide...COWARD!! Yeah, I did say that....I think its a cheap way to go...Sad that no one noticed him...his moods...patterns...routines...Ya know??

Now, I am NOT saying that, people who commit suicide automatically flash a blinking neon sign saying, "I NEED HELP"....."I have problems.."....My world is shit, so..fuck it...I am OUT!!" I am not saying that at all.... I have told people that if they ever found my dead body with a suicide note...I DIDN'T FUCKING DO IT!! I don't have the balls...the want...the mental make-up to do that. I, personally speaking, think that you have to have absolute courage and at the same time, PRIDE to do that!! Suicide, is a way of  showing of how sad it is when people think they cannot...will not...should not...shed their shitty pride, in order to open their mouths and tell someone...ANYONE...that you need something...anything.

In 2007, there were approx. 35,000 reported suicides nationwide...Florida made the top of the list...SC ranked 25th with 530 REPORTED suicides....27,000 males...the rest..females..
•A person dies by suicide about every 15 minutes in the United States.


•Every day, approximately 90 Americans take their own life. Sited http://www.afsp.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=home.viewPage&page_id=050FEA9F-B064-4092-B1135C3A70DE1FDA 
 
Moving on, lets go back to his "tribute page"....Vent people...VENT!!



 Besides this persons retarded spelling...horrible slang terms...I would have hoped that if someone wanted to leave a tribute to my family about me, COULD YOU PLEASE SPELL CORRECTLY??? I wouldn't want my extended family to have to re-read or translate this shit at a later date. I would also like to think, that the people I have put in my circle, would want to show my friends and family, that I did have some sort of DNA composed lumps, that were smart enough to communicate effectively. I know what you're thinking..."Katie, you litter your sentences with "........" Yep.......I sure do!! If your mother was an English teacher, for 30 years, who seemed to carry a red pen, in a hidden holster,.......you would use "......." too!
Moving on......No one thought to check on him...the people around him...Did they NOT know?? Signs?? Did he have any enemies?? Anyone recall him doing anything different? And I have heard "religious" people say this before too...""G" doesn't make any mistakes"...and .."It was his plan..".... Humph....another one....

OK.....This person...in this post, didn't specify as to whose "betta hands" Mr.Hill is in?? Can I have that guys e-mail..so I can go ahead and tell him....DO NOT FUCKING TOUCH ME!! Seriously...I don't get it...You really believe that the way this kids life went....it was all some sort of conspiracy...."HIS plan"??? Again...call that "HIS"-guy, and tell him DO NOT MAKE PLANS FOR ME...No thanks...I am going my own route...um..RAIN CHECK!! I just don't see or understand why statements ...and there were alot of them, that can swallow that pill...
Whenever I see a child suffering with cancer..or hear about a baby being beaten to death...should I just say..."Well, the Big-Guy-in-The-Sky said it was his "will"...his plan...so...I should just STFU and LIKE IT!!????"""" Are you fucking serious?? WOW...I REJECT that....I won't be made to drive by the Children's Cancer ward...and scream..."Remember kids...and parents....BE HAPPY...Its all "Big-Guys" fault!! Rest easy now...." and drive away, with a stupid, shitfaced grin on my face, believing that all is right in the world because someone read a book that had been edited and reedited...and what they read on that book...THEY  SWALLOWED every single word??? FUCK THAT!!

Growing up....I read alot of books...edited and reedited one...Stephen King was my fave...So, why would I be frowned upon if I chose to worship a character out of one of THOSE books??????? Why? WHY??...I believe in Santa...He ate my cookies I left him when I was 5....The Easter Bunny....He lives in Norris, SC...Yep...Cause I read it in a BOOK!

Back to Mr.Hill.... I continued reading all the posts from his 1200+ friends and I came across this SHIT FACE!! I wanted to call her and say..."Really??" Here is what her post was...

Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME?? I was minding my own business...working...I don't recall knowing about some sort of conspiracy....SHIT....Did I forget to check my e-mail...Crap!! The first day I forget to check it...and I missed being part of a conspiracy!! I swear, I will NEVER forget to check it again....**checks her Yahoo**....**frowns*

WTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTF!!!!!!!!!!! Instantly, I LOATHE her...I want to find what kind of car she drives and smack some REALITY into her FAT HEAD!! Her lack of using English in her...typing makes me SICK!! I had to google half of her smegma infested typing.....LEARN HOW TO COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVELY!!!!!!!!

Then she goes and vomits some more...."864"..I get it...an area code...Hold on a fucking minute...That's MY area code...."Where the white folks don't give a damn about us..."
1st....Who is "us"??? Have I ever met "us"??? Yes, I am white....but...Why the hell should I give a damn about "us".....?? I get what you're saying, Chicky...That somehow if I gave you a fucking Hallmark card...that your cesspool of a life would somehow have meaning?? What does me being white have ANYTHING to do with your life?? You are where you are in life...NOT because of ME...But because of your own CHOICES...If you don't like where you are...FUCKING CHANGE it!! Sitting around, blaming me....That really works to make YOU better doesn't it??

 I must say...You are right though....I really could give a shit-less about you.....You DON'T live with me.....You DON'T contribute to anything I associate myself with...YAY!! With an attitude like that, I am sure ,that the success in your life, will be triple that of my success.....In about 5 years....can you give me an update as to the changes you made in your life...to improve it?? I would appreciate that I know how me NOT caring...has really FUCKED UP YOUR LIFE!!

Maybe its because I was not raised here?

I do not understand some people's thinking. I do not understand how some people can just believe in something JUST because their parents, family, or friends told them that they should.


First, there are some things about me you should probably take into consideration.

From the very first moment I can remember, my parents have always been deeply in love.

My dad was in the Army for 20 years. After his retirement in 1990, he became the 911 coordinator for Pickens County, SC. He is the reason we have 911 here. He then went on to filling the role of County Administrator. Soon after winning a lawsuit against the county, he went on to becoming Oconee County Administrator...due to a series of lies...he retired abruptly. (That is another story...) My mom was a teacher at RC Edwards Junior High and then went on to DW Daniel High until she retired.

I have an older sister whose actions while a teenager changed my life forever. (That is another story...)

I grew up attending a NATO air force base American school in Geilenkirchen Germany. While attending school there, I learned German. Thanks Frau Frankenberg. We lived in Heerlen, Netherlands, a 40-minute drive to Geilenkirchen for school. While I played with the neighborhood kids, I learned to speak Dutch. My first word, taught by a boy who would bite the top of his hand when he got mad, was "kijk" (cake-uh)...Means "look!" NOTHING was censored when we lived there. When family members came over from Six Mile, SC…they found Naked Ballet very interesting! There was a late-night movie review show called, "The Fuck Off Show", where the host would either say "fuck yeah!" or "Fuck OFF" to movies he had seen. On Dutch TV, the only English speaking shows were seen 6 months later than shown in the United States. When JR. Ewing was shot...we didn't know about it for 6 WHOLE MONTHS!! Falcon Crest, Airwolf, Knight Rider and The Dukes of Hazard were the only shows. When I watched Dutch TV, they always had subtitles in English on. That was another way I learned to speak Dutch. We moved to South Carolina in 1986, I started the 5th grade at Liberty Middle School.

Attending school in America was quite a change. Things were NOT talked about, as they should be. I remember I wrote a poem about a dead dog, and was quickly counseled on how it was not appropriate. Really?? Discussing the loss of a pet is "not appropriate"?? WHOA!!.... 

I remember a classmate of mine; I will use her first name only, Jennifer, came up to me and said, "My parents are getting a 'divorce'!" My response and the shape of her face is something I will never forget; "What kind of car is that?"....Yeah, I had NO CLUE what divorce was, BUT I watched the "Fuck Off Show"!! Neat, huh? I felt like my 5th grade year was sort of like an interview that lasted 180 days. I remember being made fun of because I did not attend church...I remember being made fun of because I had an accent...and it was not southern AT ALL. I received 26 paddling’s from Mrs. Clamp during my 5th grade year...not for fighting or anything like that. Administration said that I needed to learn what was appropriate and what was not. Nice, huh? I am 35 now...do you think those paddling helped? ;) I also learned how friendships would follow you the rest of your life. EXAMPLE: Overseas, I had a multicultural-mixed-bag of friends...all colors and shapes... As kids, we never called each other racial names...it never occurred to us that this should even be an issue. When I came here, one of my very first friends was Daryl and his cousin, Naomi. Thomas soon followed. I remember being called names by my other classmates because I was friends with them, that I didn't understand..."Nigger-Lover" and "Fag-Protector" were a few. I actually had to ask my parents about the "N" word...Never knew about it until then.

Ok, let’s move on.....this all boils down, I guess, to some of the Facebook posts I read. Take into consideration that I have never judged anyone for anything that they believe is true...I have only questioned it. I have a scientific brain....I think I am smart, never knew I was smart...until I had my daughters.

When I was pregnant with my first daughter, Barrett, I thought long and hard about what kind of adults I would like her to be. The thing that stuck in my brain was; AN INDIVIDUAL. Happy, respectful, kind, sweet and just an all-round good person. That's not asking TOO much ...is it?

My family's background is Jewish. We were never pressured into this...never asked to "practice" it...Just respect it. Since my children had both Jewish and Baptist backgrounds, I wanted them to be old enough to make a choice, if any, when they were older and could understand BOTH sides...or ALL sides...or none at all. I never PUSHED anything, other than respect for other humans and animals alike. I see how religion, throughout history, has been used as a weapon. My parents have always given me a choice as to how I wanted to live my life. Yes, along the way, instead of taking their advice, I have often failed when I did the opposite of what they had "suggested". Ya live and learn, right? Therefore, when I see the posts like "We saved 234645480978473 souls tonight." Something inside me pisses me off...Why is that? Is it because I think unless they were feeding the hungry, they haven't saved shit? Or, "We got 34 people to follow us..." WTF....I SCREAM INSIDE!! 

I don't believe it.....there is something there that isn't kosher....its askew...something it OFF. Why do people find a need to run around and tell people that unless they follow them like sheep, they will burn in hell? Why do they find it a daily ritual to "pray" for people who are homosexuals? FUCK OFF...they (homosexuals) aren't hurting you!! Homosexuals aren't here to "convert" your children...your husbands...you...or even the family pet! They are here to live...that's it!! **Wipes her brow**....knowing this...does it change things for ya?? Brainwashed too much? If my daughters, either one of them, came to me and told me that they are homosexual...should I turn my back? NO...as long as they aren't hurting anyone else...LIVE my daughters, LIVE!

 The religious ones...think about how you would react if it were YOUR child.... would you judge?? Turn your back?? Or love them just the same? I would opt for "love them just the same". If they came to me tomorrow and wanted to worship Q-Tips...ok. If they wanted to discard everything people have "believed in" and find their own way...ok.

I could go on for days on this...but I won't. I will lay my head upon my pillow and sleep like a bear, knowing that I have given my children OPTIONS in their lives. I love them very much, enough to allow them to grow, learn and think for themselves. Just remember, be yourself...whatever that may be. =)

Where Do You Shop For Make-up, Home Depot?

First, let me apologize for any of the following: misspellings, grammar, punctuations and language!

When you live in a small town, you sometimes recognize people....maybe they're someone you went to school with or a friend-of-a-friend, or they are the parent(s) of someone you went to school with. Either way, you recognize them! Living in Easley, you have 3 choices for buying grub...1.) Hardees  and 2.) The Minute Diner! I happened to be pillaging at Ingles when, I noticed a blond lady pushing a buggy...I knew that face!!

As she got closer, although aged and painted... Yep, this was/is someones mom. She stood about 5'9 and maybe 200 lbs., bottle blond hair and make-up compliments of Maaco!

Let me just add this so you may be clued in to who this might be! Her daughter was maybe 1 or 2 grades below at Easley.....(you may rest easy DWD)! This broad works in the school system of Oconee county...........Anyways, when she stopped right beside me in the aisle, my ADD kicked in and I could feel myself beginning to stare. Her hair had been colored so blond over the years, that NASA could spot her without using the Hubble telescope! Her make-up was applied by using a Wagner sprayer or a putty knife. The expression she has always had on her face, was complete arrogance. In order for the "common" person to achieve this look, he or she must take cat crap and place it on their upper lip!

She never speaks, never smiles and never seems happy. Her clothing...I have no complaints. She is always very well put together and never a wrinkle (other than her face) in her clothing.

Let’s pause for a moment and think of her family....Are they honest with her when she asks, "How do I look?" Negative, they are liars! I believe her family should set daily limits on the amount a make-up she spackles on in the morning....Kinda like those pill organizers; but for make-up. In this small, southern town, I am sure she attends a "religious" center. PRIDE is one of the se7en sins that is spoken about. It is often defined as the following;

***In almost every list pride (or hubris or "vanity") is considered the original and most serious of the seven deadly sins, and indeed the ultimate source from which the others arise. It is identified as a desire to be more important or attractive than others, failing to acknowledge the good work of others, and excessive love of self.**

With that said, how does she feel when she putty's her face before going to her "center"? Is she contradicting herself?? Are her loved ones aiding and abetting this frowned upon behavior?? What about the people who whisper about her as she passes by? When they leave at noon and go out to eat, do they mention her?? YES....and if she or her family thinks otherwise....she is sadly mistaken!

OK...where was I ....OK, lets call her Linda. As soon as I have typed this name, some of you KNOW who I am talking about! Hell, some of you may be related to her!

This is just a random note to remind people that just because you may have fancy "packaging", does not guarantee that the "inside" is just as fancy! AND the next time someone asks, "How does this look?"......TELL THEM THE FREAKIN' TRUTH.......someone MAY just recognize them and know they are indeed related to YOU!!

Mr.Leary...I love you!

"I'm the enemy because I like to think. I like to read. I'm into freedom of speech and freedom of choice. I'm the kind of guy that could sit in a greasy spoon and wonder, gee, should I have the T-bone steak or the jumbo rack of barbecue ribs or the side order of gravy fries? I want high cholesterol. I would eat bacon and butter and buckets of cheese. Okay? I want to smoke Cuban cigars the size of Cincinnati in the nonsmoking section. I want to run through the streets naked with green Jell-O all over my body reading Playboy magazine. Why? Because I might suddenly feel the need to. Okay, pal?" -

-- Denis Leary