You Are A "Christian" Yet You Write These Words????? Then I Don't Want To Be Anything Like You!!!

BEWARE....I smell SHIT! Oh..it's just him!

I like reading the news sometimes more than watching it on TV. Sometimes I feel like no matter how much I turn the TV down, the news still seems to SHOUT at me.....so, I read. I started reading adult sized novels around the age of 10, when I first moved here.

1986 Age 11

I found that I could escape into the pages and almost "see" the story as it unfolds in front of me... Funny, since I hated high school and I admit that I was not a good student at all. For someone that hated high school, it is sometimes hard for me to believe that I have been attending college since 1995.....and probably could transfer all my credits to a 4 year university and have a Bachelors or Master's degree.....Computers, Accounting, Business Management and Criminal Justice.

As I said, I like to read the news and I liked going to a particular local "news" (shit-stirrer-community-instigator-Self-absorbed) site...until I read the following words. His disgusting representation of unbiased media is a fucking JOKE! Follow THIS link to read his BULLSHIT for yourself...

Credit:Facebook

If this BIGOT actually believes that he speaks on behalf of the citizens of Liberty...He is SOOOO wrong..He is in NO WAY the "voice" of ANYONE who has known him in real life!! The way he acts/speaks about things OFFLINE would SHOCK you!

He is to decent as I am to supermodel!

The words were written as an opinion to poll results of "Gay Marriage; an Opinion/Op-Editorial"

“I see homosexuality as wrong and destructive. A transgender person or transvestite person has a mental disorder ~ a severe one. 

Men like RuPaul, who are openly gay, dress in drag for character and I see nothing wrong with that. I refer to men that dress in heels, wigs, lipstick, and stuffed bras and clearly are mentally ill. I also refer to Cher's daughter Chastity Bono who, through transgender surgeries, became Chaz Bono - a man. Those having transgender surgery have a severe mental disorder."

"A transgender/transvestite is not a sane person.
There's really no debate there.”

After reading these words from a local news blog, I became nauseous and angry that someone would state their opinion as a fact. Not once…but twice saying that transgender and transvestite people are not sane…even went so far as to say that there is no debate about that.

 I beg to differ…So, I commented on the article he wrote…

"You have no business defining and classifying mental disorders....You don't. Unless you have a degree in psychology/sociology/psychiatry you cannot say that transgender/transvestite people are not sane and have a mental disorder. Just because people put on different clothes than you do does not mean they are clearly mentally ill. I understand that you said that this is your opinion....but not when you state your opinion as FACT.”

Are you fucking kidding me??BIGOT!

He responded, “I don't have to have a psychology degree to say anything.
If one Google’s "is cross-dressing a mental disorder?"
You get articles that agree with the assertion that cross-dressing is related to bipolar disorder.
Psychologists seem to be in agreement that a transvestite, transgender is an acute form of schizophrenia or bipolar disorder.”

Yep....

I did respond to his response…something along the lines of the fact that his Googling sources are along the same lines as The National Enquirer and he is very ill informed.

So, as many of you know, I sent you the words he wrote in his article…to find out what you, the public and possibly some of his frequent readers….what you thought about his statements. The response was over whelming….and very informative!

I will address each poignant topic as we go along…. “Homosexuality is destructive…”..We have heard this all before…”destroys the sanctity of marriage”…REALLY?? WRONG!

** The persons that I sent these quotes to come from a variety of social backgrounds....Male, female, gay, straight, black, white, Military, European and Bi-Sexual** I say this so you would know that I asked a diverse group of people....

If there is anything wrong or any threat to the sanctity of marriage in America, it comes from those of us who have the privilege and the right…and we have abused it for decades.  Marriage predates written history but marriage was created more or less to insure that a man's need for assurance as to paternity of his children.  ( Just to make sure they don’t have a Maury-Show-Moment…)He might therefore be willing to pay a bride price or provide for a woman in exchange for exclusive sexual access…. YAY..We women were like property or pedigree dogs….Nice. Ok….So I think we all know that this isn’t the topic of this discussion…Let’s move on….

A few pictures of people who are in love.....My friends...may you all KNOW love like they do.....

Jessie and Quetta

 

Tee and Crystal

“Those having transgender surgery have a severe mental disorder. A transgender/transvestite is not a sane person.”

 If you read this as he has written it….he is stating a fact…like he knows…..Well, instead of relying on Google to educate oneself…..Let’s ask some verifiable sources….Like doctors and scientists….

 

Did you know that according to The American Medical Association, The American Psychiatric Association, The American Psychological Association, The American Psychoanalytical Association, The American Academy of Pediatrics and The National Association of Social Workers have all stated homosexuality, transvestism or transgenderism should not be treated as a mental disorder? They oppose attempts at reparative or conversion therapy. My favorite one being "Pray The Gay Away"......Good fucking LUCK! They have all stated that sexual orientation or the disassociation with one’s sex is not a choice and cannot be changed. SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!!

But didn’t he say “Psychologists seem to be in agreement that a transvestite, transgender is an acute form of schizophrenia or bipolar disorder.”?????

Ohhhhhh ok…you mean those Psychologists who are not members of The American Medical Association, The American Psychiatric Association, The American Psychological Association, The American Psychoanalytical Association, The American Academy of Pediatrics and The National Association of Social Workers……

What are they members of?....Oh, that’s right….They are a member of the “we don’t need no education…..we’ll just Google it society”…..Ah, ok.

I guess they all must be wrong…all those silly scientists and doctors….Pfft…what do they know??

One of my friends on Facebook happens to be a geneticist and he actually studies mental disorders stated, “Whoever said this is wacky... and likely has a mental disorder themselves.” He continued with “The idea of feeling like a man in a woman's, or vice-versa, probably is related to genetic and hormone function... and possibly something that occurs early on during embryonic development.”

WOW…He said the same thing all those other crazy scientists and doctors said….He must be Googling it all wrong too….No...he isn't....It's just his field of expertise.....In other words...He knows his SHIT!...KNOWS!

Lisa, a lifelong resident of South Carolina, married, mother of 1 daughter said “To those judgmental hypocrites, they obviously are harboring some insecurities of their own.”

None of your marriages or relationships not working out?? NAILED IT!

I tend to agree…I mean we have all been in that weird spot…You know which one I am talking about…You could be at the DMV or the Dr.’s office and there are only a few seats left…You can either choose to stand or sit next to someone who may or may not be a male or female….Me, I will sit down….I might just learn something or share some of my worldly knowledge…

KMW had this to say “HAHAHAHAHA...to choose to be transgender or for it to be the result of a mental disorder is the same as saying me not being transgender to be the result of the same thing….Stupid simple-minded fuckheads.”

KMW’s words are as colorful as the Pride Flag ….and I LOVE rainbows!

TT, a married mother of 2 children, said “My opinion is that it's false. I'm bisexual and I don't feel crazy. Love is beautiful between any combinations of people. I just went to a lesbian wedding and it was more moving than most straight ones.

I think because it was a little historic for all of us. They got legally married in Iowa and it was so awesome. I love them bitches! I think transgender stuff is a physical and mental defect that can only be helped by the people being able to live as they feel they really are. Surgery or not, Drag queens are just fucking fun. I love them bitches too! I don't even think all of them are gay. I just think they have too much fabulous. News articles like that can suck my strap on!!”

Did I mention that I am heterosexual but I think TT is fucking HOT!!!????

She brings up another fascinating scientific fact….70% of men that like to cross-dress are heterosexual!! That’s right…They LOVE vagina!

The most recent science suggests that this drive is a combination of nature and nurture. As you may know, all human embryos start off with a female destiny. Then, at a critical point in early development, the gestating baby is given a hormone cocktail which directs it either to continue its progression as female or to reprogram growth to become male. Current thought implies that perhaps the occasional hormone dose is a little early, late, under strength, of varied proportions, and so forth, such as to allow parts of the brain to retain certain attributes associated with one sex while developing the majority of its characteristics in congruity with the opposite sex.

Genes

After the child is born, unknown environmental conditions complete the "circuit" and a transgendered personality develops. But all that mumbo-jumbo comes not from Google…..but from a silly scientist at the The American Academy of Pediatrics….pfft…What do they know???

So he says!

Gender identity disorder is a conflict between a person's physical gender and the gender he or she identifies as. For example, a person identified as a boy may actually feel and act like a girl. The person is very uncomfortable with the gender they were born. This is where Chaz Bono comes into play….There again, is no mental illness….NONE!

Chasity to Chaz

Wendy had this to say…since she actually knows a transgendered person…

” Hmmm let me think about this one... one of my best friends is transgendered. I grew up with her, as in kindergarten to today. She never wore dresses, wore "boy" clothes by choice, and always wanted to be the Ken doll when we played Barbie’s. I always love it when people try to say someone is not born this way because I have seen it with my own eyes! It is not a choice or a preference. It is not sanity or insanity. It’s in our DNA. I believe that people who say these statements are ignorant, afraid, and need the correct education and information and that’s my thoughts…”

Again, she has personal experience by KNOWING someone...

Strace, who is in a 6 year marriage to her partner, said this….”Wow...that's, Wow, Close minded, Ignorant. Do they understand the difference between the two? Gender dysphoria is a treatable condition ...the treatment is gender reassignment surgery. People have to see a psychologist and that doctor has to sign off. They have to live a year as the opposite gender before they can even start the hard work. Who would choose that?  Native Americans, who are far more advanced than we are, in my opinion, value the Two spirited people highly. They are thought to be healers and wise elders. What makes this person an "expert" anyway? Are they a mental health professional, I sure hope not! Are they afraid and ignorant? Yes.”

This brings up an interesting point in history with me….Remember Joan of Arc?? Joan of Arc was a 15th century French peasant girl who joined French armies against English forces fighting in France during the latter part of the Hundred Years' War.

She is a French national heroine and a Catholic saint. After being captured by the English, she was burned at the stake upon being convicted by a religious court, with the act of dressing in male clothing being cited as one of the principal reasons for her execution. A number of witnesses, however, testified that she had said she wore male clothing (consisting of two layers of pants attached to the doublet with twenty fasteners) because she feared the guards would rape her at night.

The British writer and doctor Vernon Coleman cross-dresses and has written several articles defending men who cross-dress, stressing they are often heterosexual and usually do not want to change sex. Remember that 70% of men who cross-dress at HETEROSEXUAL!

I grew up reading National Geographic and there is a photograph that I saw as a young girl that has stuck with me for many years. The Wodaabe tribe of Africa beautifies their men…they apply make-up….bleach their teeth, put on women’s garb, feathers, clothing, hair and earrings.

At the end of the rainy season in September, Wodaabe clans gather in several traditional locations before the beginning of their dry season transhumance migration. The young Wodaabe men, with elaborate make-up, feathers and other adornments, perform the Yaake: dances and songs to impress marriageable women. The male beauty ideal of the Wodaabe stresses tallness, white eyes and teeth; the men will often roll their eyes and show their teeth to emphasize these characteristics. Wodaabe clans then join for the remainder of the week-long Gerewol: a series of barters over marriage and contests where the young men's beauty and skills are judged by young women.

Haven’t you noticed that in nature, the male species are usually the more colorful, flamboyant and animated?

A biological ornament is a structure of an animal or human that appears to serve a decorative function rather than an ostensible, utilitarian function. Ornaments are used in displays to attract mates. An animal may shake, lengthen, or spread out its ornament in order to get the attention of the opposite sex, which will in turn choose the most attractive one.

Men often have pierced ears, get their hair cut a certain way or dress in high-end label clothing. Ornaments can take the form of the ears (shape/length), the eyes, the shape of the nose and shape the lips and mouth even tattoos.

MMMM Me likey his ornaments!

Ornaments are most often observed in males and picking an extravagantly ornamented male benefits females because those “good genes” will be passed on to her offspring, increasing their survival or reproductive fitness. These genes are considered “good” solely due to the fact that it will increase the likelihood that a female will be attracted to the male that carries them. These structures usually serve as sexual cues, which are sensory signals used lead to mating responses. Therefore, ornamental traits are often selected by mate choice.

Let’s go back and talk to a few more folks….and their thoughts on reading the same words I read….

Mr.Law said "These are the statements of a fearful person. A misinformed person. A person who has absolutely no idea how wrong they are, but are totally convinced of their rightness. I would also say this person has roots in some form of religion- most likely Judeo-Christian. This person probably does not have a close relationship with anyone in the GLBT community. They may know of someone- but not know them well. They are probably very ridged in their world view, and would benefit from sensitivity counseling. On a personal note, I have experienced interactions with such toxic people and have found it best to cut these people off or at best have very limited interactions with the likes of them. Lastly, though I could not disagree more with anyone who thinks as the above quotes would suggest- they are free and clear to think them. Provided they do not in any way try and make their limited opinions reflect any law that might adversely affect my right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Their right to hold those opinions stops where my nose begins. Lastly (again) I have been told in the past that my disassociation with people of this mindset on Facebook and life in general is limited on my part. To limit their access to me is to surround myself with like thinkers that DO not challenge me. To that I would say: I do not need to be challenged by people who have no interest to expand their view or be open. I have done the work on myself and know that I am whole and that I am okay. I do not need outside validation to make that so. Having those kinds of discussions with people of a bigoted mindset only disrespects me- and I do not give them permission to disrespect me." 

The Lawbetters

·       Reagan, who has been in a committed relationship with another female said “Fear can make people say and do some idiotic things, but whoever said these things obviously have some demons they haven't addressed. I believe that people who live their lives that make themselves happy are the sane ones. Maybe all the haters should be the ones in the mental institutions. People need to look at people and not there orientation or religion. Will it really matter if there was a natural or man-made disaster and needed help would it matter then if the ones that helped were gay or atheist? See how stupid it sounds when you use that perspective?"

Yes....yes I do see how stupid that sounds...

·       Smeets who lives in Europe says- “Stating that only opposite gender sexuality is the correct way implies that sex is only meant to be for reproduction, within or outside a (love) relationship. I believe that sex is not only for reproduction! Equally so, sex can be the ultimate form of showing your love to another person but is one of many. I have many people, including men whom I love for who they are. Granted I would not have sex with them, but I still love them. So that line is way too complicated to call being gay an illness. As for cross dressing...Scotts wear kilts, Muslims wear long dresses, women wear pants, in the Middle Ages both gender children would wear dresses (see paintings of that time) it’s not for me, but who am I to say it is wrong?"

     

      True Mr.Smeets!!

  For the one that wrote those disgusting words and what sparked this blog post....I say...SHAME ON YOU! You know nothing of tolerance, love or respect for your fellow man. You say you are a "Christian"......I think you forgot something...besides FACTS and KNOWLEDGE about your subject.......

In the hopes that I have educated the original author of those words.....I should point out that any of the information contained, in reference to the various studies I have found.....can be located and found in any university library......Except for BJU.....in Greenville.....
 Ask
Word to the wise...Be VERY CAREFUL when friending this one! For the record...

Just ask random people you might know...Get their opinion..Ask some of the folks in city hall and local restaurants! 

Friendship For Lifetime

Friendship for Life

     How does one define a friend? Some may say that they are friends with someone who shares the same view on things. Some may say that a friend is someone who will listen when you need them to, critique you when you need grounding. A friend may be someone who completely understands who you are (…the whole you…the complete you…the raw you) when others don’t…someone who may be lucky enough to find a permanent place in the web of life you weave.

       Deng Ming-Dao, an artist and author sums it up by saying, “Those truly linked don't need correspondence. When they meet again after many years apart, their friendship is as true as ever.” This is true in my life…and I am sure many others feel the same.

     

       Many years ago I saw a sweet, pale, shy, red-headed teen that carried a backpack almost as big as he was pass me in the hall. I had passed him in the hall for many days….and I noticed something about him that he dare not share with the world around him. Internally, he bottled up something weighed heavy…a mental and emotional battleship. He had grown up here in a small town in Central, South Carolina but this was not the place where he could be himself. I recognized that in his eyes and I had seen it before in my friend Thomas Fortner….He was putting on a show….his family and friends were all cast members and had no clue he was an actor. He was portraying the good son, the good student, the good grandson and the good church following southern boy.

        I cannot recall the first conversation he and I had or the exact “ah ha” moment that brought us together. We were the same yet different. I was branded “mean” and he was branded “sweet”. I had been suspended from school for fighting Patty Mabry. No one remembered that she started a fight with me, in her mind she was going to be awesome and confront the new girl….She had bet wrong.….I still remember that fondly because I snuck a punch in on Mr. Sanders head! Even to this day I can recall talking to her as I punched anything that felt of flesh…That felt good.

      Jason Law wore a Members Only jacket, dark blue jeans, a colorful sweater, digital watch and a huge backpack. As he walked down the hall he kept his eyes either on the floor or glaring into the distance; not really focusing on anything….just trying to get to his destination without any bullshit along the way. In his mind, if he got through just one more day without someone picking on him….muttering a remark or just someone being a douche in general…it would be a great day.

     Over conversations and going out to a movie or two, we never spoke about what I knew about him. We were an unlikely friendship, but a needed one. He was my escape from the bullshit that seemed to migrate my way….The fake friendships I had….the daily struggle I had to keep my mouth shut so I could just graduate from high school. I was the free-thinker that I knew he would one day become….the one who did not allow society to tie me down…I screamed “Fuck you!” when all he could do was disassociate himself with what he did not like. If I did not like someone; I told them…he would just not interact with them. If I didn’t want to do something…like attend church…I didn’t….He would go because it was the easiest way for him to avoid confrontation. I never looked for confrontation BUT I never backed down from it either.

I knew that he was gay…even if he was still struggling with the whole thing…I knew. Just like Thomas….I knew. Unlike a lot of the people we attended school with…it had no bearing on my opinion of him…I loved him. I became the verbal machete he could keep in his arsenal…if he ever needed me…I was there. If someone picked on him…I was there. If he just needed to talk…I was there…and still am. He accepted me with all my flaws…maybe dismissing some. I am sure he was one of the many that defended me by saying…”That’s just how Katie is…” I’ll take it.

        After graduating from high school…we stayed in contact sparsely through the years. I would hear from so-and-so how he was doing or where he was…just knowing he was still alive was enough for me to know he had made it. Without caving into the cruel world….he had made it. He worked at Lowe’s and I would see him from time-to-time….we could always start off where we had left off. That’s the kind of friendship that will never end…like a movie on pause…we begin again….

        I got married…had my first daughter …got divorced…met my Michael…had my second daughter. Then Facebook came around and again the pause button was once again released. Our friendship was again back to start a new chapter….this time with added characters. His life was where it needed to be 15-20 years ago…no longer an actor! He was in domestic bliss with his…I won’t say “partner”….they aren’t in business together….I will say he was with his spouse or husband…you choose whatever “label” suits you best. I will forever label him a lifelong friend.

Clint and Stella...Jason's Family

    

       No matter where I go in life I will always be fortunate enough to have known that friendships like this are very rare. I have always accepted him as a human being and he accepts me as a human being. Maybe if we all just took a moment, take a good look at our lives and know that, the people you come in contact with are there, at that specific moment for a simple reason. I am a better person because I have a friend like him…He may not like what I have to say or may think my words are sometimes too harsh…but he loves me…because I have never been anything but myself.

   

         I want to wish Jason Law a wonderful birthday. I know that this is not one of those milestone birthdays…but sometimes you can give a verbal birthday gift to someone you are bound with…lifelong friendships are worth letting that special friend know just how you feel. I am not one to open up to people…I am guarded and in unfamiliar social situations…I tend to stand against the wall….feel people out….watch them…making sure that their motives are genuine…humane. Jason has found his voice in life…some people have never found their voice. Some people have never bucked the system and yelled…screamed that they are GAY….He has…but in a filtered , reserved, kind, sweet, loving, pale red-headed way of doing so. I will keep him in a place that I don’t allow many…close to my heart…for now and always.

     I hope you have a wonderful birthday, Jason…I am glad you are a big part of my life…I love you for the human being you are…flaws…perfections…and eccentricities. It’s because you are not like everyone else…is why I have always loved you. Float on my friend…..float on.

Sure Dear! I'll Put a Fresh Pot of Coffee On!!

               As we all know by now, I enjoy a good banter....I may even comment on one or 30 from time to time....But I must say....this one had high hopes of ALMOST shedding the light on what could have been....Well, an educational experience!! For the sake of "fun" I have removed the cretin's name and replaced it with...."Frannie".....I am KMc

Here is the conversation as posted on our beloved Facebook!

“Frannie”

• R.i.p Rodney King and why ppl saying he drank his self do death really u dont know what caused his death just saying boy I tell you some ppl! Smh

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Like · · Unfollow Post

*******“Fran’s Friend of Equal Intellect” likes this.

__________________________________________________________________________________

 KMc: Do the research....he was an alcoholic! SMH

“Frannie”: Bye girl I dont have to do research on anyone hell do some on urself since u got alot to say! Smmfh! Bye girl

KMc: http://laist.com/2009/04/29/meet_rodney_king.php Educate yourself “Poopoo”

“Rodney King: 17 Years After The Riots : LAist

laist.com

Dr. Drew, Rodney King, Steven Adler and Jeff Conaway (L-R) | VH1's "Celebrity Re...”

KMc: Delete me because you got mad...uhhh..ok....That’s a perfect reason!

KMc: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rodney_King

Rodney King - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

en.wikipedia.org

Rodney Glen King (born April 2, 1965) is best known as a victim in a police brut...

KMc: A direct quote from Rodney King.....""The trouble that (people) see me in is a part of my life that I'm working on," he said in 2011. "I'll always have an issue when it comes to alcohol. My dad was an alcoholic. The addiction part is in my blood. What I've learned to do is arrest my addiction -- arrest it myself, so I don't get arrested."

KMc: Need more?? Or are ya gonna be childish and delete me...lol

“Frannie”: Im not mad girl yes he did have a drinking problem but do u have to say congrats! And yes u will be deleted and it wont be because im mad! Wat do I have to be mad about grow up girl! He had a drinking problem just like u had a weight problem now u have done made me come out my character I juat be damn! When u lost that weight ppl didnt say u lost it by smoking crack did they no they said congrats and kept it moving! But u r deleted because I dont have time for negitive ppl and for saying congrats on someone passing u need to grow the fuck up! And stay the fuck off my status!

“Fran’s Friend of Equal Intellect” I hear you girl ,word on that Frances..

“Frannie” Ikr she stupid and dumb and childish u know how some ppl r they get a makeover and think their shit dont stink! Remember somebody has at least one in their family!

“Frannie” Hey chris how you been doing?

KMc

‎;-) They didn't say I lost weight by smoking crack....because I never had a past that involved drugs! If I am so stupid and dumb then why do I have 3 college degrees and working on a 4th??!!?? Two semesters away from a Criminal Justice degree....but I am stupid or am I just uneducated?? As far as your status....at least have enough wits about you to say it on MY page.....since you wanna be a sidewinder (that’s a type of snake) about it....I thought I would offer up a lesson (some links) or two so that you might better inform your audience!! If you're gonna call someone out…especially me, have enough backbone to at least be adult enough to talk to me!! Now, run and tell that!! Lemme know if you need to talk directly to me again.....or you can continue to talk about me out of the side of your mouth!! Tell D(your husband and long-time friend) I said Hey Little Brother! ♥. Ya'll!

“Frannie” D said you is crazy as fuck u fat ass! Lol Now run and eats that! We dont love you with ur big ass eat shit and chike on it!!!

“Frannie” Oh bitch I can talk to u face to face tell me when and where fat ass even though u lost weight ur still a fat ass lol

KMc Hahahahahahaha... I have lived at the same address since 1998...I ain't hard to find.....;)!!

 “Frannie” Bye big bitch u ugly fuck. Eat ur shit and chike on it u fat fuck!!

Damnit...I AM a size 3!! They MUST be broken!!

KMc lol you are now a part of my blog!!!! Thanks to for material......!!  And thanks for helping me figure out why I could never fit into those size 3's I have been trying to put on.....Your obviously skilled in the area of "Telling me 'what-for"......But, I am saddened by your reducing yourself to calling me fat....You would think after 37 years this way that I would have been able to figure that out all on my own.....Thanks for that too!

 “Frannie”  DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

KMc Thought you were coming over.....I have coffee on!! And Marshmallows!!

“Frannie”  DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

KMc You are way too angry and serious...lol! Does this mean “No” to having coffee? =)

“Frannie” DIE!!!

 Unlike · 1

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I am a Debt Collector........

Today, I received an e-mail from a retarded fake debt collector... They have called me several times and I will usually answer the phone if I need a good laugh. They love to use acronyms like FBI and CIA and IRS....They tell me that they are calling from the FBI....Fugitive Business Investigator...Things like that. When they call me, they are probably on a laptop in the middle of a busy market and have accents as thick as molasses. I laugh and go along with it and show them how concerned I am about being arrested and handcuffed..... I then break down in fits of laughter and tell them how much I love to get arrested because the mugshots turn out better than Sears portrait studios Holiday pictures.
Keep in mind that I am a debt collector and have been for the past 20 years. I am fully versed in the Fair Debt Collection Practices and LOVE a good threat. Just when they are looking for a retard to extort money from....they find me! **SIGHS** Enjoy.....
The e-mail...

From: IC3xxxxxx
To: acs.incorp@.us
Sent: Wednesday, November 2, 2011 11:55 AM
Subject: Reference - Account Number 3368; Subject - Lawsuit

This is in reference to your Account number 3368 with ACS in order to notify you that after making several calls to you on your phone number, we were not able to get hold of you. So the IC3xxxx (Internet Crime Complaint Center) has decided to mark this case as a flat refusal and press charges against you.

We are hereby informing you regarding this and know your final words on this in reference to your amount pending which is $986.45

Do revert back if you want to get rid of these legal consequences and make a payment arrangement within the next 48 hours or else the case will be downloaded against you.

Once the case is downloaded the creditor has entire rights to inform your employer regarding this and if you are found guilty under the bench of jury then you have to bear a law suit which will be amounting to $4515.85 and will be totally levied upon you and that would be excluding your bail charges, your attorney charges and the due amount pending on your name $986.45



Best Wishes,

Morris Anderson
Sr. Investigation Officer
ACS Incorp
Direct – xxx.374.6411
Fax - xxx.402.7610

Now if I had been the average gullible person, I might have been a wee bit upset....Thankfully, I am not or I may have reacted like......

HAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHHHAHHAHAHHA!! Instead, I responded...

Dear retarded inbred,

      I suggest you re-read the Fair Debt Collection Practices the next time you decide to e-mail me. This e-mail does not have a name associated for whom you are trying to contact. I suggest you check your facts and please charge me with whatever crimes I have NOT committed. There are NO JAILS for people who owe debt. I would strongly urge you to Google a more fitting letter template and fill it out properly prior to sending it out over the Internet and making yourself and the people you represent look like the assholes you already are. I have marked this e-mail as "SPAM" and have also forwarded it to the Federal Trade Commission in helping them combat retards such as yourself and "company".

    Also take a moment and shop for an expandable hard-drive since you have plans on "downloading"me....My ass is pretty big so you may not have enough room on your V-Tech computer. One more thing before I get bored responding, to your limp attempt, at extorting money from people...some of which you are not mentally equipped to deal with...Like me!

   The last thing...I know cows in your country are sacred animals so, just for you over the next 30 days, I will consume roughly 30 of your deceased relatives as I bite into a variety of beef dishes. I will also feed my husband and children the same amount....maybe more...Hope this sits well with you.

 Here are a couple of pointers for the next time you call me:

1. Don't use names like John James or Peter Smith or Morris Anderson and have a THICK middle-eastern accent and expect ANYONE to believe you. If you name is Aboo...be proud of it because it's super unique!

2. Try some software to buffer out the background noise that I hear when you call...The car horns and the 5000 bicycle bells I hear.

3. Stop using Majik-Jack it only adds to how completely incompetent you inbreeds really are.

 Until then my little pet, I will await my arrest....and groovy new handcuffs that I will use on my husband....not for anything sexual...just until I get done using all the credit cards in his wallet!

 Yours,
 The person NOT named in your limp e-mail.

Hope this is what you look like by the time you get to the end of reading this e-mail I sent to you....

"BEAST".......Has Come to Eat Me!!

As many of you may know… I hunt humans for a living. My chase territory has some interesting places…. Filled with people….and their pets….
I pull up to a home I am not familiar with and one thing sticks out on it like a gaping wound…”Beware of Dog” affixed in several places around the house. I get my camera out of my bag and zoom in to the property…. I scan everywhere….trying to spot the “BEAST”… No such luck! I drive around the block….checking all sides of the property….Nope…I STILL don’t see anything!! Fuck it!! I am going in that driveway…. Pablo the Malibu slithers into the driveway….the contents of the Malibu cannot be seen by the outside world… (Thanks Illegal Tint Master!!)
Sitting there, I wait for “BEAST” to come charging out of his camo-covered dog house….NOTHING!! I roll down the window….whistle….I HEAR IT!!!

As the clanking, dragging sound gets closer, I identify the direction. He came from behind my car!! Sneaky fucker!!
Ok, at this point, I know the owner is watching me….I saw the blinds move….Even the neighbors have came out for the show of “BEAST v/s WHITE WOMAN!!”!! I still have my window cracked….listening….Pablo the Malibu is a quiet machine…”BEAST” is right outside my door….dragging his 18-wheeler-tire-chain…. I hear him panting. I can now see the shoulders as they pass my door like a shark through dark waters……
“BEAST” weighs in at around 100lbs…..maybe more in the shoulders since his owners obviously LOVE him and want him to work out…..I know this because of the 18-wheeler-tire-chain he drags behind him!

My dog Shug...Not a "beast"..

“BEAST” reminds me of the character from Charles Dickens novel A Christmas Carol; Jacob Marley. Jacob who Scrooge described as having chains that were: “long and wound about him like a tail; it was made... of cash-boxes, keys, padlocks, ledgers, deeds, and heavy purses wrought in steel."
He raises his cinder-block head and a glance up at my window…his glance says, “Open that door!”…..Little does “BEAST” know, but I know animals….. I worked for a veterinarian that taught me how to read animals….
I have my supplies that I need grasped firmly in my hand as I open my door. I notice the neighbors have practically brought out their lawn chairs and grills….to watch the show.
“BEAST” snorts and charges me…… I remove my sunglasses and stare at “BEAST”. The world around me has gone dark….I see nothing but “BEAST” and his drooling lower jaw as he approaches. He stops….he is 3 feet from me as I let my door shut by itself. Pablo the Malibu sits there….humming…..
He snorts again and takes a big inhale. I have not let my eyes dart from his pupils since he stopped. He inhales again…..raises his nose in the air. He comes closer….my hands are down at my sides….I can now feel his breath on my left hand….knuckles almost moist from his exhaled air….
Neighbors lean in….waiting for him to remove my left hand and eat it as an appetizer. “BEAST” nudges my hand….I start to walk….his nostrils do not remove themselves from my knuckles. I continue to make my way to the owners front porch….they have been watching this display from their window.

The darkness disappears around me as I place my letter firmly in his owners’ front door. The darkness now surrounds all who have been watching me and “BEAST” dance. As I make my way back to my trusty steed, Pablo the Malibu, I “smooch” at “BEAST”…..He wags his tail and I tell him how fantastic he is….He returns the compliment and jumps up on my left hip.
The neighbors let out a “gasp” as he does this…..I turn and look at everyone….stone-faced as I put back on my sunglasses. “BEAST” removes his grasp and I tell him to “SIT!” He does and I again compliment him on what a fantastic puppy he is….He wags his tail and I give him what has been hiding firmly in the grasp of my left hand. The neighbors and owner have no idea what the hell I had done to “BEAST”!
He takes his reward and retreats back onto the porch to wag his tail as if he had slayed a dragon. “Bye bye Puppy!!” I exclaim….

Pablo the Malibu’s interior is a cool 70 degrees…..comforting compared to the outdoor arena I had just came from. Pablo reverses out of “BEAST’s” lair and I make my way through the crowd of on-lookers….They have begun to laugh as I pull away.
When I get to the stop sign at the end of the road….”BEAST” has finished his reward and charges the neighbors…..they scatter like roaches and retreat from his grasp….they turn and watch me as I drive away.

*** Always remember….no matter how a dog is raised…it is still a dog. They cannot help if they are kept prisoner by shitty humans. “BEAST” was rewarded with beef jerky….When he smelled my knuckles….He was under the spell of the jerky….he is no longer a “BEAST” and will remember me the next time I go there. I will reward him every time I go…..It may be his ONLY reward he will ever see from a human…..*** I think I will take him some prime rib....Yes?